Soul Truth

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

You won’t believe what happened in a very formal church, years ago. My son, Jonathan, not quite one year old, had the fantastic gift of throwing up everything he ate. So much so that I thought I would catch a lung at some point. I had moved to Dallas several years before and life had been tough so I ventured out and visited a church. I needed the reminder that God was still on His throne, sovereign, and always faithful.

Jon had so many struggles that getting out the door for church, with three kids under the age of five, was nearly impossible. Eventually, we made it and just as we walked into the formal, gorgeous, well-known, and respected church, Jon began to empty the contents of his stomach everywhere. I heard a big splat, and then Jon gasped for air, and then another splash, which spread across the beautifully polished, expensive tile. One usher came over with such care and offered to help. In the meantime, I grabbed a stack of church bulletins, hoping they would soak up something. On that day I discovered paper does not soak up vomit effectively! I also learned a few other lessons:

1) God doesn’t care about how we try to look, but He does care about our hearts. That is freeing.
2) We can’t possibly live without some messes, either inside or outside our lives. That is relieving.
3) Pride refuses help, but humility welcomes help as God’s hand reaching to you. That is refreshing.

I also learned some funny lessons:

1) Because vomit and stink go together, wear your junk clothes.
2) If throwing up is even a slight possibility, stay home.
3) Church bulletins don’t soak up a single drop of anything, so carry paper towels.

I recently found this prayer written by a man who lost his children and needed some help drying his tears. I love his humble, thoroughly honest words.

Lord of reality
make me real
not plastic
synthetic
pretend phony
an actor playing out his part
hypocrite.
I don’t want
to keep a prayer list
but to pray
nor agonize to find Your will
but to obey
what I already know
to argue
theories of inspiration
but submit to Your Word.
I don’t want
to explain the difference
between eros and philos
and agape
but to love.
I don’t want
to sing as if I mean it
I want to mean it.
I don’t want
to tell it like it is
but to be it
like You want it.
I don’t want
to think another needs me
but I need him
else I’m not complete.
I don’t want
to tell others how to do it
but to do it
to have to be always right
but admit it
when I’m wrong.
I don’t want
to be a census taker
but an obstetrician
nor an involved person
a professional
but a friend.
I don’t want
to be insensitive
but to hurt
where other people hurt
nor to say
I know how you feel
but to say God knows
and I’ll try
if you’ll be patient with me
and meanwhile I’ll be quiet.
I don’t want
to scorn the clichés
of others
but to mean everything I say
including this.¹

 

1. Joseph Bayly, “A Song of Single-Mindedness,” in Psalms of My Life (Wheaton, Ill.: Tyndale House, 1978), 40. Used by permission.

 

Ageless

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

It’s confession time. I am now 44 years old . . . I think. I remember at age 13 thinking that people in their 40s had reached the summit of being “over the hill” and were gaining speed down the back side of life. Older people (ha! those 40-somethings) seemed to my 13-year-old mind to be constantly irritated, as if they had breathed acrid air for 40-ish years. Between ages 14 and 44, life has been to me a highly skilled teacher, revealing that age and attitude are not connected at the hip. I used to be bothered when my plans fell apart . . . annoyed by people who are bummers to be with . . . bitter when I was judged by others . . . selfish—which makes people very lonely . . . suffocated by anxiety . . . insecure . . . and controlling toward people, which drives them nuts—not a far drive.

The skilled teacher—that is, life—still teaches me today and uses pain as part of its curriculum. At any age, those bothered, judgmental, bitter, selfish, anxious, and insecure people might try to deny they have these unhealthful attitudes, but acknowledging one’s own flaws is the very thing one must do for attitude—and might I say—soul change.

Life is very painful. It doesn’t always agree with our plans or provide happiness. Life sometimes lets us down and rarely offers a satisfying answer to our self-focused questions. I found the following quote supposedly attributed to Winston Churchill very revealing.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.¹

Remember what Paul wrote in his letter to the Philippians. Get this: his living conditions were less than desirable—he was a prisoner of Rome, clad with iron chains every day to a Roman solider. Yet, the theme of his letter was on attitude—the attitude of joy.

I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear. (Philippians 1:12–14 NIV)

I picture Paul grinning ear to ear, perhaps thinking, Who knew? I don’t have to yell because these guys are chained to me. They are the captives, not me. How could he write this? Because his focus was undivided and fully fixed on God’s work, not on his own comfort.

Focusing fully on Christ is especially important for those with special needs—and for those of us who love and care for them. Focusing fully on Christ is the only way we can deal with the pain of life. This connects directly with Paul’s words in the book of Romans:

We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3 NIV, emphasis added)

Isn’t hope what we all long for? Hope infuses us with joy; it helps us to overlook and to undertake what we otherwise would not have. My dad, Chuck, has said, “Most of life is just showin’ up.” Showin’ up does not demand brains or brawn; it does demand that we examine what’s behind our attitudes—be it disappointment, or anger, or whatever—and make some choices, so that we might glorify God by becoming more like Christ.

 

1. Churchill by Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations, ed. Richard Langworth (New York: Public Affairs, 2008), 578. (Langworth is of the opinion that this quote is misattributed to Winston S. Churchill. The actual source is unknown.)

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

His name was Theodor Geisel, but everyone knew him as Ted. Born in 1904 to German immigrant parents, Theodor and Henrietta, the family settled on Howard Street in Springfield, Massachusetts. Ted and his sister Marnie recalled a happy childhood; Ted’s favorite memory was being soothed to sleep by his mother’s soft words she had learned from her mother. For Ted and his family, there didn’t seem to be anything extraordinary about his life (or so he believed).

But Ted was enormously creative and inquisitive. He attended Dartmouth and Oxford, pursuing what he loved most: writing, art, and journalism. Like acting jobs in Hollywood today, journalists then were a dime a dozen. And, like actors today, Ted took the odd jobs and open opportunities as they were presented. Over the course of time, his goal was to write of great moral issues in a simplistic fashion.

He submitted his first written and illustrated manuscript to between 27 and 48 publishing houses (depending on whom you ask). All rejected Ted’s work. Undaunted, Ted kept writing because his soul had something to say. He was driven to communicate a message: each person is unique and tremendously valuable, regardless of size, shape, color, intellect, or measurable ability. Today, readers know Ted by his pen name: Dr. Seuss.¹

Of course, Dr. Seuss was not a theologian, but his artistic form and words remind me of the way Christ communicated deeper truths. Jesus—alongside many writers of Scripture—used simple things such as light, a mustard seed, rivers, roots, sheep, and fields to tell us of faith, foundational strength, and how to find help and safety in Him.

I’d like to leave you today with one such passage. Psalm 1 expresses one of the grandest truths I know: that God blesses those who follow Him:

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.
The wicked are not so,
But they are like chaff which the wind drives away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the LORD knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the wicked will perish.

 

1. “All About Dr. Seuss,” Dr. Seuss National Memorial, http://www.catinthehat.org/history.htm, accessed Feb. 23, 2012.

Prayer Bear

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

You may be surprised to know a little bear lives in our home. He showed up shortly after the birth of my youngest child, Jonathan (now 14 years old). He’s a softly stuffed, six-inch teddy bear that wears a light-blue and white striped night cap sewn on his little head. But this stuffed animal is like none we’ve ever had (and we have had plenty!). He is in a kneeling position, eyes closed, with little, furry paws crossed. He whispers the following words, which have been for me a balmy salve, saturating and soothing my rough, ragged, resistant and often resentful soul. He quotes this prayer of Jesus:

“Our Father who is in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”
(Matthew 6:9–13)

Just before offering this prayer, Christ warned the people against praying like hypocrites. Back in the first century, a hypocrite was a reference to an actor in a play. Today, we refer to hypocrites as pretenders, swindlers (hey, careful there), outwardly pious people who pretend to be highly moral and deeply committed to Christ. However, when the church lights go out, the true character of the hypocrite is revealed—and it’s often shocking, bewildering, and compromised.

As I’ve ruminated over this blog entry, I’ve discovered some hypocrisy in my own soul . . . I’ve talked to Jesus, my husband, and my counselor about this simple prayer and how it has pierced places in me that need refining. My hope is that those who profess to believe in Jesus Christ will choose the simple life of sincere faith. I pray these truths sink into your soul as God continues to refine us into His image.

In this prayer, Christ said:

1) We pray to an intimate, infinite Lord, our heavenly Father, worthy of our worship. Therefore, prayer isn’t to inform God of something He may have missed (oops); it’s to begin with acknowledging His sovereignty, His faithfulness, and His presence. Whether we feel it or not, faith is about living in truth.

2) Because He is our Father, it’s okay for us to come to Him as a child—with no pretense and not “politically or socially” trained with the world’s rules. We come to Him as a child—messy, sometimes mad, in need, hurt, or happy.

3) Because we are to come to Him in a childlike manner, big words, long statements, and verbosity are NOT expected! Simple words suffice: “I need You.” “I can’t do this.” “Will you help me?” “I’m so sad.” We’re to come to Him with meekness, humility, and without fear. His care is so tender; call to Him as you are.

4) Because there are no masks we can wear to disguise our hearts from God, prayer should be simple. We are called to forgive. I’ve struggled with this one the most . . . to give full release of any damaging, painful wrongdoing that’s happened to me. And ask not to be led into temptation . . . how often we are tempted to think of ways to get even!

This prayer calls us to let go and then be free to praise Him forever and ever. Amen.

The Serenity Prayer

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

We have just begun a new year. Hopes are high, goals are made, and efforts are in place to accomplish what we have set out to do. One thing is for sure: surprises await us all. Some will be great, and some will be painful. I have found the following prayer and its personal application helpful when my sorrows outnumber my joys.

 

 

GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the
Things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen

Now apply your circumstances to this prayer.

Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

[my child’s disability, my divorce, losing my job, financial loss] 

The courage to change the things I can

[my attitude, my beliefs, my behavior, my perspectives, my values] 

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time

[my child’s smile, soul, my partner’s strengths, my home, my abilities to think or move, taste and smell, talk and read, my needs being met by the Lord]

Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace

[I cast my anxieties and worries onto you, Lord, so I may be given your peace which will surpass my understanding]

Taking, as he did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will

[I place my will under Your sovereign control, desiring that this cup shall pass but welcoming Your call and walking obediently according to Your will]

 
That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen

[Lord, my faith is cultivated in the refiner’s fire (1 Peter 1:6–7), and I choose to believe that my suffering will produce perseverance, character, and hope (Romans 5:1–4) ]

God’s Mysterious Plan

by Charles R. Swindoll

 

“I am the LORD, and there is no other;
Besides Me there is no God.”—Isaiah 45:5

There are occasions when we are surprised by God’s decreed will . . . like when we get the results back from our physical exam and the MRI reveals a tumor we had no idea was there. . . . Or when the stock market plunges in one day to a ten-year, record-setting low.

It may seem to many that the One who made us is too far removed to concern Himself with such tiny details of life on this old globe. But that is not the case. His mysterious plan is running its course right on schedule, exactly as He decreed it.

This world is not out of control, spinning wildly through space. Nor are earth’s inhabitants at the mercy of some blind, random fate. When God created the world and set the stars in space, He also established the course of this world and His plan for humanity.

 

Excerpted from Charles R. Swindoll, The Mystery of God’s Will (Nashville: Word Publishing, A Thomas Nelson Company, 1999), 18–19.

What Do You Look For?

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

Noise can distract us from the voice of the Spirit, but God often speaks in the silence. In a rare moment recently, my house was quiet. So I chose to sit and carefully observe the room I was in, and a number of emotions flooded my soul.

My daughter’s art supplies rested by her canvas along with her iPod, Netbook, and jacket. I thought of our past and recognized that I hadn’t shown her enough grace. I felt impressed that I needed to ask her for forgiveness. My older son’s shoes rested by the back door because he is responsible for feeding the dogs and cleaning up after them. I had focused on his “being responsible,” but I hadn’t told him in a long time that I appreciated him. I saw my husband’s lunch bag, and it reminded me of his consistent work and provision. I noticed my younger son’s tattered backpack, which represented how hard he worked—in spite of a disability—to do what comes naturally for others. Finally, my stepson’s iPod reminded me how he reaches into my world with music we both enjoy.

I felt convicted because I didn’t recognize what God calls us to pursue: grace, forgiveness, love, affirmation, gentleness, mercy, and tenderness. I was reminded of a song I had recently heard that spoke to me. I ask you to find a quiet spot and reflect on what you look for and expect in others.

'Cause there’s so much good in the worst of us
So much bad in the best of us
It never makes sense for any of us
To criticize the rest of us
We’ll just find what we’re looking for
We’ll find it and so much more.¹

Lord, thank You for Your grace and Your merciful convictions that remind us to focus on grace and truth. May we become seekers of quiet moments and allow You to speak to and shape our lives. I ask You to remind me to follow Your ways. In Christ alone I pray, amen.

 

1. Amy Grant, “Find What You’re Looking For,” in Somewhere Down the Road (Brentwood, Tenn.: Sparrow Records, 2010)

 

Illumination

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

Some feelings are universal. At some point, we have all felt happy and hopeful; yet, we have all felt disappointed and distressed. We long for happiness and pursue pleasures. However, when pain enters, disillusionment and despair invade our lives. We fight for relief, looking for ways to fix or avoid painful situations. Some of us try to deny the pain or dodge it altogether. Possibly, you are in a place of sorrow, attempting to find a means of escape or relief, and nothing is working. The prophet Jeremiah and King David are two examples of men who endured downcast souls—hearts without hope in the presence of a God without a face. Yet, these two men made several choices to lift up their souls—choices you and I can make as well. They demonstrated courage, endurance, and a willingness to faithfully follow God, regardless of the cost. They chose to surrender to the Lord’s will, to seek the Lord’s Word, and to rely on the Lord’s tender mercies.

When my soul is downcast, I remember the penetrating words of one author, quoted in an earlier post but one that bears repeating:

Whatever you use to keep the pain at bay robs you of the flecks and nuggets of gold that feeling grief will give you. A fixation can keep you nicely defined and give you the illusion that your life has not fallen apart. But since your life may indeed have fallen apart, the illusion won’t hold up forever, and if you are . . . brave, you will be willing to bear disillusion. You begin to cry and writhe and yell and then to keep on crying; and then, finally, grief ends up giving you the two best things: softness and illumination.¹

One of the best illustrations of how God uses pain to soften and illuminate our lives is found in Galatians. Paul described his personal story. For years, Paul was a persecutor of Christians. However, by God’s grace, He sent Paul to the Arabian desert, where the apostle spent three years (Galatians 1:17–18). We know little about what happened during those years of isolation, but we know God transformed Paul from a persecutor of the faith to a servant of the faith. When Paul presented himself to the leaders of the church in Jerusalem, many didn’t know him by sight, but many had heard that “He who once persecuted us is now preaching the faith which he once tried to destroy” (1:23). God brought illumination from the darkness, and many were “glorifying God” because of it (1:24).

So it is in our lives. We experience seasons of delight and seasons of despair. And whether we are in a season of pleasure or in pain, all that comes into our lives is for the purpose of transforming us and teaching us to treasure God’s work in us. My friend, allow pain to do its work in you, through which you might someday find God’s perfect purpose for your life.

 

1. Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith (New York: Pantheon, 1999), 72–73.

 

Removing the Blind Side

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

Family traditions stay with us for life. One of our favorites was to go to the movies on Thanksgiving evening. I remember seeing Rain Man, Mr. Holland’s Opus, Apollo 13, and The Fugitive, among others. In 2009, we saw The Blind Side, a truthful account of Michael Oher, a homeless and traumatized boy who became an All-American football player and a first-round NFL draft pick with the help of a caring woman and her family. The family persistently and passionately determined to awaken within Michael this one truth: he was of priceless value and his value didn’t depend on his behavior. Their love scared him and yet softened his soul, transforming this street-smart survivor into a generous, talented football hero.

The same principle can be true of us. When we believe our lives have no value, we often revert to old habits of thinking and behaving, which usually cause us to run from or deny Christ’s unabashed love for us. It’s easy to become blinded to the truth. You and I cannot earn or behave well enough to gain the gift of God’s gracious love. One of the most magnificent moments I’ve had with my son happened when I realized my love for Jon would never compare to Christ’s love for me. Jon can’t behave in a way to earn my love, nor would I base my love for him on what he can do. I love him simply because he is. And that’s how God feels about you and about me. Isn’t that amazing grace, a sound so sweet it melts our hardened souls?

As we embark on this new year, may God remind you and me over and over and over that God’s unimaginable, unending, abounding love embraces each of us. It doesn’t matter what you can or can’t do. You are loved for being you. What a wonderful truth to embrace.

May It Be

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

The most significant transformations that occur in our lives are often hidden by pain, as God carefully and purposefully carves our souls into His form. Painful events, shocking discoveries, and dark valleys offer us the choice to either trust God’s Word or ignore it. This past year, I wrestled with some of the deepest struggles I have ever encountered. I clung to resentments, clutched for control, ached with anxieties, longed for rest, and desired relief. Perhaps you, too, have had challenges, experienced anguish, and encountered a loss of hope. Perhaps you have felt that God appears absent, silent, unfair, and at times downright mean. Remember, significant transformations occur in our lives when we feel invisible or in pain or when God seems hidden.

As we begin a new year, I offer you a thought that may free you; after all, resolutions can be so binding. And when we fail to live up to such grand resolves, it just stinks. We focus on self-failure, self-loathing, self-whatever—forgetting to focus on what is eternal. Years ago, I read an excellent book titled The Dark Night of the Soul, by Dr. Gerald G. May. He writes of St. John of the Cross and Mother Teresa and shares profound insights from their lives. He writes: “When people speak of going through a dark night of the soul, they usually mean they’re experiencing bad things.” He continues: “A related misunderstanding is that the dark night is something that occurs once in a lifetime, that one gets through it and moves on to some permanent state of realized union and spiritual ecstasy.” Later, he writes that some habits, like “zealous self-sacrifice, may appear admirable on the surface, but devour us interiorly. . . . We cling to things, people, beliefs, and behaviors not because we love them, but because we are terrified of losing them.”¹ (OUCH!)

What I’ve not shared before is my terror of releasing all of my will to God’s will. I’ve been terrified to let go of self-justifications, an unforgiving spirit, and impatience with God—a desire for God to hurry up or an attitude for God to step aside and let me help Him hurry up.

How about you? Does this resonate within your soul? Though we’re all different, we share the universal struggle of dying to self. We struggle to accept the grace made available to us by Christ’s death on the cross and His resurrection. So, as we enter 2012, let’s set our focus on knowing the truth and allowing it to set us free.

We just celebrated the birth of Christ. Recall the exchange between the angel Gabriel and Mary (Luke 1:26–38). Pay careful attention to Gabriel’s encouraging words to Mary. These words reveal what must happen within us, so that we will be transformed for eternity—when our dark nights of the soul become noonday bright. I cling to the words: “Do not be afraid” (1:30), “For nothing will be impossible with God” (1:37), and to Mary’s answer: “Behold the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word” (1:38). For us all, as bondslaves of the Lord, fear not, and may God guide you in grace with His plan and His truth.

Oh, and happy New Year!

 

1. Gerald G. May, The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection between Darkness and Spiritual Growth (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2004), 1, 9, 60.