Second Homes

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

There is a place I sometimes used to call my second home: the waiting room. I’ll never forget the hours I spent with my special-needs son in waiting rooms—rooms with foam-filled sofas, tattered magazines, crying children, and tired-looking people who were staring at smudged, blandly painted walls. If there were windows, I watched the outside world whirl by—beautiful women out and about, men in pressed suits connected to cell phones. I would get stuck in my thoughts . . . somewhere between envious and anxious, weary and worried. I wondered when the waiting would end.

Maybe you have been there or are there now, feeling secluded, lonesome, or friendless. I felt guilty at times, not attending to my other children. I would ask myself, “Who will make their meals or help them with their homework or listen to their day? I called those days “mazy” days . . . because I felt as though I had no map, no short cuts, and no destination.

Today, I’ve come to realize those experiences were not about “waiting,” though it sometimes felt that way. God has not forgotten you, though it might feel that way. I remember writing thank you notes; reading excellent “theological” magazines like People, In Style, and Fitness; eating chips and salsa; filing my nails; twisting my hair; and hating the slow passing of time. Then, (duh) I picked up my Bible and began to search in it for words like alone, help, wait, how long, and sorrow. I discovered that, really, the One waiting was Jesus, invisibly present and patiently longing for me to turn to Him for help. With all distractions removed, God reached into my soul and filled it with His truth. It’s not always fun, but it’s the making of who you are.

Recently, I came across this poem that I hope brings comfort to you today. After you read it, pick up God’s Word, and be filled with His love and care for you.

I thank God for bitter things;
They’ve been a ‘friend to grace’;
They’ve driven me from paths of ease
To storm the secret place.

I thank Him for the friends who failed
To fill my heart’s deep need;
They’ve driven me to the Savior’s feet,
Upon His love to feed.

I’m grateful too, through all life’s way
No one could satisfy,
And so I’ve found in God alone
My rich, my full supply!¹

 

1. Florence White Willett, as quoted in Charles R. Swindoll, Paul: A Man of Grace and Grit(Nashville: W Publishing, 2002), 242.

Comments

[L Allen]

Thank you for this today!
What the poem said about the bitter things being a friend of Grace, so struck home to me. It has been a tough year of many lost moments and then finding them, only to lose them again. My heart aches then rejoices in the same breath, knowing that He has entrusted me with these moments that sooo need His Grace. I find myself at peace in the midst of uncertainty of what the future holds for our sweet girl. But knowing His hand has given her to us is all that matters. I have been waiting in those moments you talked about, not in waiting rooms but in life, praying, hoping for some little change that would make everything normal but they have not come. So whatever the future I know HE holds it. I get so much from what you share thank you. I have not been able to speak it to anyone for fear of reaction. You know in minstry you have to be invincable,(not really) but it feels that way most days. I know you know this but GOD uses the brokeness to help bind up the brokeness of others. Thank You!
May you have the Blessedness of His presence this Christmas!

[Karen Kuntz]

Wow! I love this! You put into words what all of us special moms go through--no matter what our child's disabilities.
And I love that poem.

[Julie Brown]

Love this. Thank you so much for sharing.

Question: I've tried "replying" to an e-mailed blog, but wasn't sure it got through. I was trying to find a way to e-mail you (Colleen), when I found this article and (loved it). Could you e-mail me for me to ask you about the ministry at your church. Our church (in Alabama) is wanting to do an outreach to special need families. If there is a list of ways people/churches can get involved with these families or things they can do to help, I would love something like that to build on to pass out at this event. If you have time to e-mail me, I would appreciate it. I'm sorry to contact you in this way. I really have looked and just didn't see another way. Thank you!

[Colleen Thompson]

Dear L. Allen: I believe caregivers are the most authentic people on earth (if they’ve chosen to welcome the hardships in place of bitter resentments or envy or... Nothing to hide, nothing to prove; misunderstood by most but not by Christ who was so different from the world. It’s a demanding, revealing path; but leads to freedom. Magentic grace, and humble mercy...there is no other way than through the valley. How I longed for some tiny bit of hope...a diet, doctor’s work, therapies, and more...but my longings were steeped in what I could see; not surrendered in what Christ’s will was for my life. This continues to be a daily reminder of His truth: HIS ways and thoughts are far from our ways and thoughts (ISAIAH)...surrendering to that truth means giving up what we wished for and seeking the Lord to accept what HE has chosen. These are simple words to write but so often require long visits with the Lord, and silencing all voices but HIS as we live. You are on such a good path. ..Yes, a hard one indeed, but salt and light to this lost world. Your dependence upon His grace and mercy is evident. How I applaud you for finding God to be the single supply for you. Blessings, Colleen. (Don't forget to visit our SN facebook page...you will be embraced and understood. It is all about courage and grace.)

[Colleen Thompson]

Julie, your comments landed at the right spot! In regards to special needs ministries for your local community; I must refer you to those I've found to be the best. I did begin the one at Stonebriar, but those who followed have done far more than I could have imagined. I have found the following organizations excellent in this very purpose. I've listed some on the IFL special needs face book page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Special-Needs-Ministry/109071132482250?ref=tn_tnmn). Here are a couple: "Key Ministry.org"; "Joni and Friends.org"; McLean Bible Church; and Stonebriar Community Church. Use your search engine and they are everywhere. In fact, we just did an online "Pajama Conference"...all on line; interviews, various subjects, excellent info for a diverse population...You can search for that by using words "Pajama Conference" or "Key Ministry.org". My strength is in helping folks via education and advocacy, supporting pastor's and churches to see the desperate, encouragement, and empowerment for those in grief, suffering, or lost and looking for hope. In addition, on the IFL special needs topical page, you will find a lot of helps; as well as on this blog and facebook page. I hope this answers your questions. For further communication, please feel free to connect with me at Insight for Living: 972-473-5016. I would love to talk further if need be. Colleen