Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Things I’ve Learned from Raising Kids
A good sense of humor is essential in life. And taking some time each day to laugh can lighten any load. Here’s some funnies for today.
Things I’ve Learned from Raising Kids
A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000-square-foot home four inches deep.
If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with Rollerblades, they can ignite.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20-foot room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
Glass windows, even double-paned, don’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the word “uh-oh,” it’s already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke—and lots of it.
The first swimming pool for many children is the toilet.
A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint, even though a 36-year-old man says it can’t be done except in the movies.
Certain Legos will pass through the entire digestive tract.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still cannot walk on water.
VCRs do not eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, even though the TV commercials show that they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. However, cats throw up twice their bodyweight when dizzy.
Am laughing WITH you -- I needed that, Colleen! :)
Penny
www.notnewtoautism.blogspot.com
Posted by: Penny | Tuesday, November 24, 2009 at 03:36 PM
Penny, I found a great sense of humor helps everyday with kids! I would love to hear your stories, too. Have a blessed Thanksgiving. Colleen
Posted by: Colleen Swindoll | Tuesday, November 24, 2009 at 05:40 PM
lol. Great list!
Posted by: Crystal | Tuesday, November 24, 2009 at 11:53 PM
THANKS! One more, I've learned to make quilts out of the dust fleece on my unvacuumed floors. Have a delightful Thanksgiving.
Colleen
Posted by: Colleen Swindoll | Wednesday, November 25, 2009 at 11:31 AM
I love it!
Here's a few things I've learned...
Olive oil may be better for you but not better for your sofa.
The dinner table is the only place in the house where nobody eats.
Kids always cut their own hair and get black eyes in preparation for picture day.
What goes up sometimes only comes down when someone gets out a ladder.
Crayons and silly putty wash up really well in the washing machine...but don't dry so well in the dryer.
Keep smiling ladies and God bless!
Posted by: Liz | Wednesday, December 02, 2009 at 06:16 PM
Liz, You must have a ton of funny stories. Hope your holidays are full of laughter!
Posted by: Colleen Swindoll | Saturday, December 05, 2009 at 10:25 PM