Welcome

When life falls apart, confusion sets in. Personal questions are unanswerable, emotions are uncontrollable, and strength seems unattainable; such are the realities of shattering circumstances. Special Needs Ministries represents a source of hope for people by offering sound teaching, resources, and personal counseling. We invite you to visit the Special Needs blog, managed by Colleen Swindoll, director of Special Needs Ministries and the parent of a child with special needs. Colleen is intimately aware of the daily challenges you face, and she is honored for the opportunity to interact with you.

Deserts

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

When I say desert, what comes to your mind?

Perhaps the brilliant stars, the bursting colors, or the brisk, cool evening air that brings relief from the day’s heat. Such thoughts refer to physical deserts, but I’m thinking of the periods in our lives that leave us feeling desperate, disillusioned, and dry.

Desert seasons lack sparkling stars and brilliant colors, don’t they?

Some of you have been there; some of you are there right now. In this broken world of ours, we all will pass through a desert or two . . . or more.

Needing a Cool Drink

Not long ago, I found myself recalling a former desert period in my life. During my time in that spiritual desert, breathing was a robotic action, time ticked along slowly, my soul was barren, and I felt bewildered in my faith. I wanted to sit, waste away, and stop my mind from thinking, which it rarely does.

Deep down, I longed to find joy and laughter that had been my constant companion. But life continued as it always had, with no grand shazam or poof . . . all is well. Time had to pass for transformation to take place. It is hard to believe that vibrant life develops in desert places because the landscape seems awfully dusty and dismal.

Following my visit to this once forsaken spot, I reflected on what God had done in my life as a result of my desert experience.

Let me share them with you.

Junior

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

This was a doctor’s office first.

The room was superbly sterilized, and I was nervously flipping the pages of a magazine when I saw something move across the floor. Tiny as it was, its color caught my attention. Wrapped in its itsy-bitsy armor, colored red with black dots, a ladybug was crawling across the floor.

Obviously, he’d taken a wrong turn outside and was lost.

My thoughts fluttered . . .

• How did he end up on the fourth floor of a medical building?
• How long had he been missing?
• Did his parents know he had been out all night?

Because it was early spring, there had to be ladybug spring fests everywhere and little Junior was missing; in fact, he had to be absolutely lost.

I kept my eye on Junior through the appointment in hopes that I could give him a lift homeward.

As the doc left, I snatched a paper towel and leaned over toward the bug.

Marriage Support for Special Needs Families [Interview]

An Interview with Joe and Cindi Ferrini 

Marriages often struggle with the significant challenges that come with raising a special needs child.

Joe and Cindi Ferrini have been there—and are making it work.

This interview will encourage you in your marriage as Joe and Cindi balance serious topics with much-needed humor. We discuss commitment, good choices, adaptation and acceptance, divorce, dependence on biblical truth, and the importance of a Spirit-filled life.  

Your special needs family doesn’t have to erode your marriage. Joe and Cindi are proof that you can make it stronger.

Click play to watch the video.

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Interview Questions

1. What are some common marital challenges when raising a special needs loved one?
2. How do you manage family time and fun in the midst of trying to cope as individuals and as a couple?
3. Joe, what advice do you have for fathers or male caregivers?
4. What are some things couples can do to move forward with success?
5. What are some key points couples must focus on?
6. What passages of Scripture do you use to encourage others?
7. When marriages are struggling—or if there is a divorce—what guidance do you recommend?
8. How does your relationship with the Lord strengthen your marriage?

Joe and Cindi Ferrini have been married for 33 years and have three grown children and two grandchildren. They speak nationally with Family Life’s “Weekend to Remember,” and they have appeared as guests on Family Life Today and Focus on the Family. 

Joe and Cindi host the broadcast, Marriage Matters—a fun and informative five-minute radio spot that airs Monday mornings at 6:05 and 8:05 AM.

Their book, Unexpected Journey: When Special Needs Change Our Course, weaves their story about raising their special needs son as well as caring for their aging parents.  

For You

Questions: What did you find helpful from the video? What are some issues for which you would like to have more direction or support? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Recommended Resources

To connect with Joe and Cindi—or to find more information about their resources, books, blogs, and speaking engagements—you can connect with them in the following ways:

• Broadcast: My Marriage Matters
• Facebook: My Marriage Matters
  
• Web: joeferrini.com or cindiferrini.com

Books by Joe and/or Cindi:

• Unexpected Journey: When Special Needs Change Our Course
• Balancing the Active Life: A Bible Study
• Get it Together: An Organizational Planner
• Tis the Season: A “Less Stress” Christmas Planner

Insight for Living Suggested Resources

DVDs by Charles R. Swindoll:

• Family Matters: Investing in the Things That Last
  

MP3 Instant Downloads by Charles R. Swindoll:

• Family Matters: Investing in the Things That Last
• Life Lessons Just for Women
• Getting through the Tough Stuff of Divorce  

If the Walls Could Speak

By Colleen Swindoll Thompson

While sitting in a doctor’s waiting room the other day, I wondered, If the walls could speak, what would they say?

 

Stories of sorrows, successes, survivors, suffering, surprises, and more? I mean, what would the walls say about our thoughts when all is silent and we wait?

I bet the walls would speak of wordless things like our fears, loneliness, sadness, self-doubt, loneliness, questions, bewilderment, anger . . . and oh, and did I mention loneliness?

Henri Nouwen says this about silence:

For most people, silence creates itchiness and nervousness. Many experience silence not as full and rich, but as empty and hollow. For them silence is like a gaping abyss which can swallow them up. . . . [P]eople tend to become restless and preoccupied with only one thought: "When will this be over?”¹

I’m sure the walls would tell you such were the thoughts and emotions I had in many silent waiting rooms. Today, I would say silence has become the wisest teacher I’ve ever known.

Isn’t it odd to say that silence is a teacher . . . a teacher has to talk to teach, right? In this distracted, disengaged, and dying world of ours, we often make that assumption.

However, it has been in those still and silent waiting rooms I have learned the most.

Let me share with you what I've learned in God's waiting room.

Be Still My Soul

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

We all have little habits that help us along in life, and writers are no different.

Some need silence; others compose in chaos. When I write, quiet music calms my soul, soothes my busy mind, and sweeps away the troubles of the day.

However, the other day it felt like no words would come. I sat at my messy desk for several hours writing, deleting, writing, deleting. Finally, at 11:23 p.m. I laid my head on my desk and let the quiet music play.

The hymn began . . .

Dealing with Doubt Today

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

I think Thomas the apostle gets a bad rap. Nicknamed “Doubting Thomas,” he is often negatively characterized and judged in many Christian circles. Who would want to be looked down upon as a doubter? Have any of us lived without wrestling with doubt? When our faith grows deep, doubt is often a part of the process. The following passage offers a wealth of freedom and hope to all who experience doubt.

Now Thomas . . . one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:24–28 NIV)

Some Observations

First, I want to mention four observations:

1. Thomas, one of the 12 disciples, was chosen by Christ and had close fellowship with Him.
2. Thomas was not present when Christ appeared to the disciples the first time.
3. Thomas was told by the other disciples that Christ appeared.
4. Thomas verbalized his need to see Christ’s hands, feet, and side so that he could believe.

Next, one must remember that Thomas had just watched one of his closest friends viciously and violently killed. Watching, hearing, and experiencing such fierce brutality is extremely traumatizing. It is impossible to know how Thomas’ mind, body, and spirit were affected by his grief and by the intensity of such trauma. Considering these realities, I’m filled with compassion for Thomas. He was overwhelmed and had a hard time believing the disciples’ report about Jesus’s resurrection.

But that was not the end of the story. A week passed and Thomas was gathered together with the gang once again. Jesus miraculously appeared, spoke peace, and then turned to Thomas. I get so excited here because, remember, Thomas told the disciples, not Jesus, what he needed. But Jesus knew Thomas and repeated some of Thomas’ exact words . . . hand, side, finger . . . to help Thomas believe. What love, what comfort, what grace!

“Peace Be with You”

If you happen to be one who struggles to believe, I understand. Sometimes I wrestle with trusting in what I cannot see. May the following passages encourage and lift your soul.

God Is Our Sustainer

I cried to the LORD with my voice,
And He heard me from His holy hill.
I lay down and slept;
I awoke, for the LORD sustained me. (Psalm 3:4–5 NKJV)

God Is Our Guide

Now thanks be to God who always leads us into triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. (2 Corinthians 2:14 NKJV)

Star Charts

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

Charts are everywhere.

We have navigational charts, weather charts, score charts, charts for accomplishing tasks, and charts for measuring progress.

When my kids were little, I would make “chore” charts. When the chore was accomplished, a shiny star sticker was put on the chart . . . and they’d receive two stars if their attitudes were good in the process.

It all worked well until . . . until I had a child whose abilities were not measurable and progress was documented by physicians, specialists, and educational experts . . . who don’t have star charts. I had to learn a new way to celebrate his strengths and accomplishments, which began with my examination of what Christ views as important. Adjusting to my son’s special needs was a humble awakening for me.

Actually, it was more like being hit in the head, but about six inches lower, a straight shot into my soul.

I realized that somewhere in humanity’s becoming, we learn to be “human doings” instead of “human beings.”

Joni & Ken: An Untold Love Story [Interview]

An Interview with Ken and Joni Eareckson Tada

In less than a minute, life can change forever. For Joni, in less than one minute, a dive into shallow water decades ago resulted in quadriplegia for the rest of her life.

For Joni and Ken, in less than one minute, the words “stage 3 breast cancer” rang through their ears. What’s more, most minutes of Joni’s life are filled with acute, almost unbearable chronic pain.

Marriage vows include the tough words like: “in sickness and in health . . . for better or for worse.” Realities such as these pull and strain at a marriage. Ken and Joni have endured sickness, poor health, despair, emotional weariness, depression, and marital strain.

Their lives and words offer hope to all of us. Click play to watch the video.

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Ken and Joni show us we must choose—in sickness or health, able or disabled—our attitudes and responses to what life tosses our way.

Their example of clinging to passages such as 2 Corinthians 4:7-12 and 1 Samuel 16:7, singing hymns of praise, and choosing to trust that God is sovereign in the midst of massive challenges will encourage you, empower you, and equip you with greater hope.

The Blame Game

by Colleen Swindoll Thompson

My dad has this very funny statement:

“The Lord gets blamed for a lot of stuff that has nothing to do with Him.”

Being in ministry for so many years, he’s seen the Lord get blamed for a lot. We blame Him for our problems, irritations, time constraints, job losses, house and car repairs, money we don’t have, our mate’s whatever, or our children’s needs.

I found myself doing this not long ago.

For several months, I experienced one challenge after another, and as I prayed for God to do something about it all, you can guess what happened.

Nothing changed. So I did what we often do.

He Is God, and I Am Not

By Colleen Swindoll Thompson

Her story was a tough one. She needed help!

She had lost her husband years back. She had three children—one with special needs, one “typical,” and one who went to heaven shortly after birth. She was aging, endured chronic pain, and had just been diagnosed with stage-two breast cancer. She was facing radical surgery, rounds of chemo, and an uncertain future.

Torrents of tears gushed from her eyes. After a few moments of silence, she simply asked: What now?

Her soul was pliable, softened by trials and receptive to God’s grace.

Her story may be yours.